Ever since I bought a journal and started writing, I think it helped me to understand that everyday comes only once.
Yesterday morning at Emerge, I gave Laverne and Pastor a hug and God told me that they are in my life for a reason. I somehow felt it could be the first day of my entire life.
Today, together with Jinn Yep we handed in 80 pages of assignments. Jinn Yep said jokingly as if it was a thanksgiving speech... "I want to thank my dad and mum"....and I continued..."for providing me a chance to finish this two assignments...and for their guidance and leadership" HAHAH
And two days ago I bought a book online from Kinokuniya, I received the package today. Can't wait to finish the book :)
Lastly, I have just one more assignment to go and exams. After all these, I am done with school.
Welcome to reality.
And all of a sudden I remember I wrote an entry 2-3 years ago titled "Three years" about what happened during the period of three years between 2005-2007. The next time to write about my "three years" again is in 2010. I am three years older, again. Time flies.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Reading to mind is what exercise to the body.
Thanks to all who believed in me and helped me developed the love for reading.
My entire life I think I've read like 100 books already so far. Back to back. Mostly non-academic books because I think I am allergic to school text books and academic stuff like that.
The stuff I read most of the time is crime/investigations/horror/paranormal/supernatural/motivational books. I know I am weird like that and a so non-conformist. Can't help it. I dislike mainstream.
If everyone is so mainstream conforming to the general norms/ideas/perspectives of the society, then who is going to shake/change/transform/lead the world, yes?:p
Anyway, as compared to few years back, I slacked so much in reading. I must pick up more business books to read and this I hope is the start of many more books to come :)
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Sometimes I am afraid one day she will lie down like that and never be able to respond to my call ever again. Milkyyyyyy
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Uplifting hopes and desires and dreams
Remember when your grandma would ask you "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Or your teacher comment on how good your running or coloring, even your parents saying "Here is our pretty little princess or we are so proud of our prince. "
These were the first seeds planted in your heart and soul that made you asked a question, "What could I be?"
And the question remains, "What do you wanna be when you grow up or in another sentence what would you do with this life?
Do you remember you want to be a grown up, remember hating being a kid,"If I can just be big, if I can just drive a car, go on a date, make my own money, stay up late, go to the movies with my friends without my mom and dad sitting at the back row, if I can just do it myself, WELL ITS HAPPENED, YOU WERE HERE.
You are graduating. You are closing a chapter and beginning a brand new one.
As you write the rest of the story, remember to work hard, remember to listen more than you talk, make relationships that will last a lifetime, find the right person to marry, and remember you have to be the right person too, make sure you take risks, travel as much as you can, always remember to laugh and most important, don't forget to call your mom, she still worries about you.
Christ said, "I have come to give you life and life to the fullest." This is when you have the chance to achieve, life. So go on, and LIVE IT.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
These were the first seeds planted in your heart and soul that made you asked a question, "What could I be?"
And the question remains, "What do you wanna be when you grow up or in another sentence what would you do with this life?
Do you remember you want to be a grown up, remember hating being a kid,"If I can just be big, if I can just drive a car, go on a date, make my own money, stay up late, go to the movies with my friends without my mom and dad sitting at the back row, if I can just do it myself, WELL ITS HAPPENED, YOU WERE HERE.
You are graduating. You are closing a chapter and beginning a brand new one.
As you write the rest of the story, remember to work hard, remember to listen more than you talk, make relationships that will last a lifetime, find the right person to marry, and remember you have to be the right person too, make sure you take risks, travel as much as you can, always remember to laugh and most important, don't forget to call your mom, she still worries about you.
Christ said, "I have come to give you life and life to the fullest." This is when you have the chance to achieve, life. So go on, and LIVE IT.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sacrifices
President Obama, when took over the administration he said "Cut what doesn't work."
And that was a strong statement which also means giving up certain things and allowing losses. The toughest part of making a decision as such is the fact when the decision we make will often require for a loss of something. For example, in exchange of good health, we give up meat, carbohydrates and beer for months and start living healthily. That would mean NO fried chicken, rice, or pork in your meal replaced by vegetables, beans and fruits.
That would be one tough decision to make because it requires sacrifice. Sacrificing the things we love for something better.
Everyday we tend to sub-consciously/consciously give up things according to our own value systems. If we value work, we give up our time and effort for it. Some may value food or fashion, hence they sacrifice their money for it. Some may value self-actualization needs, they go through pain in their muscles to lift that weight, run that race or simply carry their heavy bodies up the mountain. We all sacrifice things in life.
The question is not whether we make the right sacrifices, but the question should be: Are we able to be so clinched in our decisions to make sure we cut what doesn't work?
Like said, it's no easy. In the society, today's life is so driven by fun, pleasure, enjoyment, indulgences, sex, lust, entertainment, ecstasies and desires, many a times it makes things very complicated. I constantly live in a world with those I mentioned. If you are living now as if you are an angel on earth , 99% of the chances is that you are really not and 1% of chances you are lying to yourself. This blog post is not written for so called angels but for those who truly understand that they are in the world but not of the world.
The problem is when you indulge in things like those we tend to behave a certain way we originally wouldn't. Some might be physical, some are verbal. We begin to speak in a language we now become so familiar in our thoughts and actions. In the midst of enjoying experiences that are very temporal, we are lost. We couldn't even find ourselves in the mirror. What have we become? We ask ourselves.
We see the WHO in the mirror but forgets the WHAT we are. We forget that we are capable of loving and caring. More dangerously, we forget how to fall in love anymore. Fun, pleasure, sex, lust and the ecstasies of life made us choose to forget. And sometimes we feel stronger like that when we choose to sacrifice love. Logically, why would anyone want to feel unnecessarily vulnerable and weak when they are having a good time in their lives? Because we are afraid. We are losers like that.
A famous quote goes, "We only begin to truly live and love when we are no longer afraid." We are afraid to sacrifice our time and effort in pursuing. We are afraid to sacrifice all that it takes and will take to commit into something. We are afraid that what we pursue is not going to turn out perfect. Due to ecstasies and also disappointments in life, we can't tell what's perfect anymore. We've lost ourselves and what we value in the process. We forgot to be the perfect person.
Instead, we go around constantly looking for the perfection we want to help complete our lives but never seems to find it. The problem is not them, it's us. We buy so many accessories for ourselves but we forget to wear our clothes. We forgot to be that perfect person. We are afraid to be that perfect person for someone else. Because to be a perfect person who is capable of loving and falling in love requires sacrifice. We will have to go through many heartaches and pain. Sometimes to be perfect in that sense means we might not be able to eat, sleep or weep. It will mean a lot of quarrels and misunderstandings. It will mean sleepless night with a lot of heartaches and possible cryings. It's not going to be always smooth sailing a bed of roses all the time. To be honest, we would rather form lies in our minds, maybe.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see our muscles grow.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see our relationships work.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see that true long lasting love really exists.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to forgive and forget.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to understand what really commitment is.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to get promoted in the workplace.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to start a new businesss.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to sincerely love and in love with someone.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to genuinely care for someone.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see ourselves falling in love.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain and so we form lies in our minds.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see the beginning from the end that we are overcomers.
We chose fun, pleasure, enjoyment, indulgences, sex, lust, entertainment, and temporal ecstasies of life. We still want to find security in them.
Look at what we have become.
This is a wake up call. I wish we all wake up from it. And to wake up, it's a sacrifice in itself.
And that was a strong statement which also means giving up certain things and allowing losses. The toughest part of making a decision as such is the fact when the decision we make will often require for a loss of something. For example, in exchange of good health, we give up meat, carbohydrates and beer for months and start living healthily. That would mean NO fried chicken, rice, or pork in your meal replaced by vegetables, beans and fruits.
That would be one tough decision to make because it requires sacrifice. Sacrificing the things we love for something better.
Everyday we tend to sub-consciously/consciously give up things according to our own value systems. If we value work, we give up our time and effort for it. Some may value food or fashion, hence they sacrifice their money for it. Some may value self-actualization needs, they go through pain in their muscles to lift that weight, run that race or simply carry their heavy bodies up the mountain. We all sacrifice things in life.
The question is not whether we make the right sacrifices, but the question should be: Are we able to be so clinched in our decisions to make sure we cut what doesn't work?
Like said, it's no easy. In the society, today's life is so driven by fun, pleasure, enjoyment, indulgences, sex, lust, entertainment, ecstasies and desires, many a times it makes things very complicated. I constantly live in a world with those I mentioned. If you are living now as if you are an angel on earth , 99% of the chances is that you are really not and 1% of chances you are lying to yourself. This blog post is not written for so called angels but for those who truly understand that they are in the world but not of the world.
The problem is when you indulge in things like those we tend to behave a certain way we originally wouldn't. Some might be physical, some are verbal. We begin to speak in a language we now become so familiar in our thoughts and actions. In the midst of enjoying experiences that are very temporal, we are lost. We couldn't even find ourselves in the mirror. What have we become? We ask ourselves.
We see the WHO in the mirror but forgets the WHAT we are. We forget that we are capable of loving and caring. More dangerously, we forget how to fall in love anymore. Fun, pleasure, sex, lust and the ecstasies of life made us choose to forget. And sometimes we feel stronger like that when we choose to sacrifice love. Logically, why would anyone want to feel unnecessarily vulnerable and weak when they are having a good time in their lives? Because we are afraid. We are losers like that.
A famous quote goes, "We only begin to truly live and love when we are no longer afraid." We are afraid to sacrifice our time and effort in pursuing. We are afraid to sacrifice all that it takes and will take to commit into something. We are afraid that what we pursue is not going to turn out perfect. Due to ecstasies and also disappointments in life, we can't tell what's perfect anymore. We've lost ourselves and what we value in the process. We forgot to be the perfect person.
Instead, we go around constantly looking for the perfection we want to help complete our lives but never seems to find it. The problem is not them, it's us. We buy so many accessories for ourselves but we forget to wear our clothes. We forgot to be that perfect person. We are afraid to be that perfect person for someone else. Because to be a perfect person who is capable of loving and falling in love requires sacrifice. We will have to go through many heartaches and pain. Sometimes to be perfect in that sense means we might not be able to eat, sleep or weep. It will mean a lot of quarrels and misunderstandings. It will mean sleepless night with a lot of heartaches and possible cryings. It's not going to be always smooth sailing a bed of roses all the time. To be honest, we would rather form lies in our minds, maybe.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see our muscles grow.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see our relationships work.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see that true long lasting love really exists.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to forgive and forget.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to understand what really commitment is.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to get promoted in the workplace.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to start a new businesss.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to sincerely love and in love with someone.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to genuinely care for someone.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see ourselves falling in love.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain and so we form lies in our minds.
We are not willing to sacrifice and go through pain to see the beginning from the end that we are overcomers.
We chose fun, pleasure, enjoyment, indulgences, sex, lust, entertainment, and temporal ecstasies of life. We still want to find security in them.
Look at what we have become.
This is a wake up call. I wish we all wake up from it. And to wake up, it's a sacrifice in itself.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Hello blog.
If there is someone I believe would listen patiently to everything I wanna say I think it must be you. Maybe sometimes I just like to make an entrance before spilling the beans.
This morning will be the last morning for Sean Choong to be in Malaysia.
It's strange how one person can be so dependent on the other to feel the loss. Maybe it's a sign that I should begin a new life with less of him. Or maybe totally without. The latter sounds more like it.
That will mean no more clubbing because I don't have anyone to look out for me. And for me to look out for. No more late night yam cha and talking about family stuffs. No more pool which more often than not, he prefers snooker.
No more second hand smoke LML
It's not easy to find someone you can totally be who you are and I am glad he made me felt that way. It sounded gay of course. That will also mean I won't be getting him on speed dial.
Come to think about it, we been through a lot. Waking up in the hotel room after a rough night, and then once with him lifting up his wallet shouting" I have a credit card, open bottle!", go to college together, I aim and shoot party pops at him, and much more of craziness...
Maybe I am more sentimental when on my bed typing these. I don't know. Let's just hope so. Gosh. But anyway they are just thoughts I can't let go without proper translation into words.
The lights are off. Good night.
The future is ours.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
If there is someone I believe would listen patiently to everything I wanna say I think it must be you. Maybe sometimes I just like to make an entrance before spilling the beans.
This morning will be the last morning for Sean Choong to be in Malaysia.
It's strange how one person can be so dependent on the other to feel the loss. Maybe it's a sign that I should begin a new life with less of him. Or maybe totally without. The latter sounds more like it.
That will mean no more clubbing because I don't have anyone to look out for me. And for me to look out for. No more late night yam cha and talking about family stuffs. No more pool which more often than not, he prefers snooker.
No more second hand smoke LML
It's not easy to find someone you can totally be who you are and I am glad he made me felt that way. It sounded gay of course. That will also mean I won't be getting him on speed dial.
Come to think about it, we been through a lot. Waking up in the hotel room after a rough night, and then once with him lifting up his wallet shouting" I have a credit card, open bottle!", go to college together, I aim and shoot party pops at him, and much more of craziness...
Maybe I am more sentimental when on my bed typing these. I don't know. Let's just hope so. Gosh. But anyway they are just thoughts I can't let go without proper translation into words.
The lights are off. Good night.
The future is ours.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
A letter
Dear you,
This is the story of the first and last time I ever fell in love at the beautiful, complicated, fascinating woman who inhabits my soul. I'm pretty sure you're going to leave me tomorrow, so, I better say this while I have the chance.
Whether we are together or apart, you will always be the woman of my life. The only man I will ever envy is the man who won your heart. And now, I will always believe that it would be my destiny to be that man.
If we never see each other again…you're walking one day and you feel a certain presence beside you, that would be me, loving you, wherever I am.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
This is the story of the first and last time I ever fell in love at the beautiful, complicated, fascinating woman who inhabits my soul. I'm pretty sure you're going to leave me tomorrow, so, I better say this while I have the chance.
Whether we are together or apart, you will always be the woman of my life. The only man I will ever envy is the man who won your heart. And now, I will always believe that it would be my destiny to be that man.
If we never see each other again…you're walking one day and you feel a certain presence beside you, that would be me, loving you, wherever I am.
Regards,
Kar Wai
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
P.W.S Night August 28, 2009
Theme: Power Wealth Success
Dress Code: Please Wear Sexy
People: Party With Sluts/Sexy
Outcome: Please Walk Straight
VIPs: Puteri/Princess, Wai, Sandra
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Dress Code: Please Wear Sexy
People: Party With Sluts/Sexy
Outcome: Please Walk Straight
VIPs: Puteri/Princess, Wai, Sandra
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
What seems wrong may seem right because in special cases, we are all blind.
It had been really long since I last wrote, anything.
First week of final academic semester came and gone. At least I started with classes, 1 competition and 1 networking dinner at Sunway Lagoon Lighthouse Beach Bistro. Ended up 2nd place and very close to winning the competition. As for the dinner, got to mingle around entrepreneurs. Guess in the future there will be more social events as such that I will need some more getting used to.
If there is one thing I learnt over these past 2 weeks. It's attraction.
Like attracts like. The condition or situation we are in is directly affected by past attractions. Or put in other words, today is made up of decisions of yesterdays. If you take life as black and white, Michael Jackson is all you get. There is a whole lot of grey area between and life is full of colors like that. At some point you'll have to make a choice.
Some already chose to be "secured" in their "security" as if they never were without it.
Once you've chosen, you play in your league and try be nice to other people outside the league. People outside your "security" do matter or maybe not, it doesn't matter. Maybe it was responsibility, maybe it's not. The issue is not that.
The issue is when the "security" you found is taken away from you, could you still be the same person? Or what will you be doing then?
I am thankful I did not choose to build anything like that. Or be dependent on a "righteous security". To be frank, I am never good at following rules and people. I can't fight against who I am. Maybe it's just me.
In case in the far future I couldn't be able to understand what the heck I wrote here, "Security" is a person I don't particularly associate with for the many of reasons.
First week of final academic semester came and gone. At least I started with classes, 1 competition and 1 networking dinner at Sunway Lagoon Lighthouse Beach Bistro. Ended up 2nd place and very close to winning the competition. As for the dinner, got to mingle around entrepreneurs. Guess in the future there will be more social events as such that I will need some more getting used to.
If there is one thing I learnt over these past 2 weeks. It's attraction.
Like attracts like. The condition or situation we are in is directly affected by past attractions. Or put in other words, today is made up of decisions of yesterdays. If you take life as black and white, Michael Jackson is all you get. There is a whole lot of grey area between and life is full of colors like that. At some point you'll have to make a choice.
Some already chose to be "secured" in their "security" as if they never were without it.
Once you've chosen, you play in your league and try be nice to other people outside the league. People outside your "security" do matter or maybe not, it doesn't matter. Maybe it was responsibility, maybe it's not. The issue is not that.
The issue is when the "security" you found is taken away from you, could you still be the same person? Or what will you be doing then?
I am thankful I did not choose to build anything like that. Or be dependent on a "righteous security". To be frank, I am never good at following rules and people. I can't fight against who I am. Maybe it's just me.
In case in the far future I couldn't be able to understand what the heck I wrote here, "Security" is a person I don't particularly associate with for the many of reasons.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
This story reminds me of The Notebook. I watched it 3 times. If you haven't, pls watch.
Got this story from Ming Kee's blog.
It was a busy morning.
About 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived
to have stitches removed from his thumb, he said he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor'sappointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,
'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Are you a magnet because I am attracted to you.
If you think this is just another ordinary video think again because I just fell in love. THREE hours watching her I think was put to good use. Because it's all worth it. Trust me. She is perfection.
Watch it!
2.00 "I don't know you but I want you." Look at what AJ did to Jess and that beautiful smile on her face.
3.49 Notice AJ was tapping his right hand.
4.04 AJ held her hand!!!!! (Big smile on her face) Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
4.16 Notice AJ is now tapping with his left hand. That made it obvious his right hand is busy!
4.22 Look at how Jess responded! Sweet!
4.58 AJ let go his hand and they were shy!
Honestly, I've never watched any video on Youtube for so many times! I spent like 3 hours in front of the screen looking at her. Literally fixed my eyes on her. Not even looking at him. I know it's hard to believe love at first sight but it's true. She is so perfect. Everything I could ever dream of.
Her voice is too beautiful. She is so pretty! And she looks like my first wife. How many wives do I have? I have none.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Watch it!
2.00 "I don't know you but I want you." Look at what AJ did to Jess and that beautiful smile on her face.
3.49 Notice AJ was tapping his right hand.
4.04 AJ held her hand!!!!! (Big smile on her face) Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
4.16 Notice AJ is now tapping with his left hand. That made it obvious his right hand is busy!
4.22 Look at how Jess responded! Sweet!
4.58 AJ let go his hand and they were shy!
Honestly, I've never watched any video on Youtube for so many times! I spent like 3 hours in front of the screen looking at her. Literally fixed my eyes on her. Not even looking at him. I know it's hard to believe love at first sight but it's true. She is so perfect. Everything I could ever dream of.
Her voice is too beautiful. She is so pretty! And she looks like my first wife. How many wives do I have? I have none.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.Monday, July 27, 2009
A dinner I will never forget.
Has been the longest of time since such many pictures were taken.
Just came back from CHC 8th Anniversary Gala Dinner and it's awesome. There are two things can't afford not to pen down before I go to bed tonight. Well, two very significant situations happened tonight at the Gala dinner in which I would love to remember for as long as I could.
First, when the cake was presented, in my heart quietly I actually wished God "Happy Birthday." I didn't know why I said that but I just thought if it wasn't for God then for who else do we want to make happy?
Second, I bumped into an old friend and we took the picture below.
Raymond and I
Like any other dinner as such, conversations are casual. Exchange a few words, compliment how stunning they look with their suit or dress, crack a Not-So-Funny joke, laugh a little about it, snap a picture together and good to go because you either notice a friend from afar or your handphone calls for your attention.
There was an exception. Raymond came to me, we snapped that photo above and what he was about to tell me made me want to remember those words for the rest of my life. He told me very sincerely with watery eyes I could see, I am always to him that kind of person he will read from the newspapers for good. Wow, I mean like how I wish this is a prophecy. Well, I don't know if I will appear on the newspaper for good or not but so far it hasn't happen yet. Maybe like what wise men said, "you are so low the only way is up"
It wasn't just a compliment. It was the deep sincerity in him when he said "All the best to you Kar Wai" before we walked away.
He had the thought I did not have.
He saw me when I didn't see myself.
It felt like an angel just came down from heaven to remind me of the things I can and will do.
Raymond, if you are reading this, I just want to say Thank you. You are a great person.
Happy 8th anniversary City Harvest.
Just came back from CHC 8th Anniversary Gala Dinner and it's awesome. There are two things can't afford not to pen down before I go to bed tonight. Well, two very significant situations happened tonight at the Gala dinner in which I would love to remember for as long as I could.
First, when the cake was presented, in my heart quietly I actually wished God "Happy Birthday." I didn't know why I said that but I just thought if it wasn't for God then for who else do we want to make happy?
Second, I bumped into an old friend and we took the picture below.
Raymond and IThere was an exception. Raymond came to me, we snapped that photo above and what he was about to tell me made me want to remember those words for the rest of my life. He told me very sincerely with watery eyes I could see, I am always to him that kind of person he will read from the newspapers for good. Wow, I mean like how I wish this is a prophecy. Well, I don't know if I will appear on the newspaper for good or not but so far it hasn't happen yet. Maybe like what wise men said, "you are so low the only way is up"
It wasn't just a compliment. It was the deep sincerity in him when he said "All the best to you Kar Wai" before we walked away.
He had the thought I did not have.
He saw me when I didn't see myself.
It felt like an angel just came down from heaven to remind me of the things I can and will do.
Raymond, if you are reading this, I just want to say Thank you. You are a great person.
Happy 8th anniversary City Harvest.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Done with exams but exam format is still in the blood.
It's 6.30 am!
Introduction
I watched the first 2 episodes of Gossip Girl (GG) out of extreme boredom. The first 20 minutes or so, crap it was as boring as anything but...I have to admit after the first 20 minutes of almost giving up (I seriously at first thought GG may not be my cup of tea)...and as the movie went on it somehow got me! It got me!
3 things that made me fell in love!
Point No.1
Girl: So you'll pick me up at 8?
Guy: *Stunned* You really go out with some guy you don't know?
Girl: Well it can be worst with guys that I do know...
Point No.2
Girl: You took me to meet your dad on our first date?
Guy: So.....so this is a date. I should have dressed up a little bit!
Point No.3
They walked down the staircase slowly across the bartenders at a party and he caught her hand while exiting. I had to repeat that scene for like 12 times. I mean that wasn't supposed to be anything magical but somehow it's significantly beautiful!
Conclusion
I enjoyed watching it!
Introduction
I watched the first 2 episodes of Gossip Girl (GG) out of extreme boredom. The first 20 minutes or so, crap it was as boring as anything but...I have to admit after the first 20 minutes of almost giving up (I seriously at first thought GG may not be my cup of tea)...and as the movie went on it somehow got me! It got me!
3 things that made me fell in love!
Point No.1
Girl: So you'll pick me up at 8?
Guy: *Stunned* You really go out with some guy you don't know?
Girl: Well it can be worst with guys that I do know...
Point No.2
Girl: You took me to meet your dad on our first date?
Guy: So.....so this is a date. I should have dressed up a little bit!
Point No.3
They walked down the staircase slowly across the bartenders at a party and he caught her hand while exiting. I had to repeat that scene for like 12 times. I mean that wasn't supposed to be anything magical but somehow it's significantly beautiful!
Conclusion
I enjoyed watching it!
Monday, July 13, 2009
July 12
This is the bunch of people whom thought me how to party like a rockstar, and club like a popstar. I am particularly closer with from Taylor's Business School. They graduated on July 12th, 2009, Sunday @ Nikko Hotel KL.
Kar Wai: Ming Kee so how do you feel being a graduate officially?
Ming Kee: Feel like going to my boss and ask for increment LOL
Ming Kee: Feel like going to my boss and ask for increment LOL
Like said, most of them if not all, are already rocking in the workforce. I cannot emphasize enough with words how significant this rite of passage is. I feel very heavy on the inside. Challenges are ahead of them. It's almost like a game over but in fact the game just only started.
Knowing that one day I will be like them too, waking early in the morning, washes up, gets ready, a little nervous, and make my way to the graduation hall. Listen to graduation speeches. Trying to balance between excitement and nostalgia. Then flings the graduation hats up the air, pick them up on the floor, a few hugs and take pictures and we are good to go.
That's reality. That's the part robots would never understand.
A famous quote from the movie " The Martian Child" :"Right now, you and me here, put together entirely from atoms, sitting on this round rock with a core of liquid iron held down by this force of this trouble you call gravity, all the while spinning around the sun at 67 thousand miles an hour and whizzing through the Milky Way at 600 thousand miles an hour.. in a universe that very well may be chasing its own tail at the speed of light.. and amidst all this frantic activity, fully cognizant of our own imminent demise-which is a very pretty way of saying we all know we're going to die-we reach out, to one another, sometimes for the sake of vanity, sometimes for reasons you're not old enough to understand yet, ..but a lot of the time we just reach out .. and expect nothing in return. Isn't that strange? Isn't that weird? .. Isn't that weird enough?"
Maybe life could be summarized into an accordance. First, you were born. Next you learn how to walk and speak. Then you slowly but subconsciously learn how powerful your words are. You scold your teacher because she is in the wrong. You feel proud about it. Maybe you talk back when scolded by parents, and you felt like the most righteous person on planet earth.
The next part is even more interesting. Wait till you realize you actually can get away with things, with a lie. So from there, everytime you make your siblings cry or breaks something at home, or simply in the wrong, you know exactly the power in you- which is to lie and get away with it. And you developed from there the power of words and lies.
Soon, you go to primary and you learn how to fight with your friends because you think they are wrong. The only time you learn is when you lose. You finally learn relativity. You can tell what's strong and weak. Which girl is beautiful and ugly, maybe not so pretty for that matter. You realize you need to keep up with good results so you have tuition classes. You hate tuition classes because it is mentally torturing sitting down there for a good 1.5 hours or so. You grew up hating tuition.
You go to high school. Weird enough, you began to enjoy tuition like never before. That's where and when you started dating and meeting your first love. Bus rides are romantic for you. Taking 40 minutes of bus ride seems brief. Drinking coffee with no added sugar or milk is sweet. You go home and tell your mum you are dating a girl. Your mum tells you to concentrate in your studies.
Sneaking handphones to school is important to stay connected. Maybe bell-bottoms are cool too.
Finally you graduated. You can't wait to graduate because you needed the freedom. From uniforms, from rules, from parents. With a car you drive around happily-that was freedom to you. You got into college, people tell you that by now you are a full-grown man. And so it was. Every typical thing a college student would do, you maintain your grades while dating, trying to be serious with work while playing with all kinds of funny stuffs at the back of the Chemistry lab. This is the time you meet the most number of people and you are very happy with your social life. And then you graduate and keeps all your friends in contact through MSN and blogs. Your friends bluetooth their pictures to your phone. This is the season where you are supposed to break up and start the real life you assume is ahead of you. You started partying like never before every alternate week.
You started University. You have new groups of people you need to adapt to. Quickly you adapted well and things went well. Results are OK and you misses your friends from college and high school. So you attend their birthday parties to stay connected. You somehow became a party animal. You rather spend money on a few shots of vodka than anything else. You are reaching your final academic semester and you feel nostalgic. You look at graduation pictures of your friends from other universities. You look at pictures from Facebook those friends whom left for other countries for studies. Many of your friends already have their own commitments whether it is relationship or work. Some of your friend's friends are getting married simply because the girl got pregnant. You have one or two of your classmates you find they are married. The main way to stay connected at this stage of life is through Facebook and MSN.
Soon you find yourself graduating. A blackberry does almost all you need. You are captivated by it. You go to work. You become successful. You buy a house and then a BMW. By this time, you knew very well what freedom truly is. You get married, and its one of the biggest day in your life, just like the experiences from graduations from highschool, college and uni. You feel nostalgic wonder what happened to your life it went by so quickly. So you go backpacking Europe with your wife to redeem all that you are not able to do. At one point both of you decides to be naughty and made love without the condom. Of course, it's well planned. You began reading books on how to raise a kid while he is in your wife's womb. Soon you have your first child. He is your pride. He is the one person on earth whom makes your life worth living for. You can't wait to get home to see your wife and kids.
You feel you are the happiest man on earth. You keep in touch with long lost friends and some business associates. Your kids grow up and the process repeats itself like how it did to you. They screw up in life but you still love them unconditionally. They got married, have kids and you and your wife became grand parents. You die and you made sure your family members know what it means to die and where are you going. You make sure that they know it's not the end.
Those whom made it all the way to the end reading these, the following is important. A friend asked me, do you think the universe is a box? Think about it. Is it unlimited? Or it is limited, like a square of a box?
The answer is: I don't know if the universe shaped like a box or not. But what I do know is that it is limited in its size for sure. Like a lifetime on earth, it is limited. Like all our experiences on earth, it is limited. Like a box, the size of the universe is limited. Because there is only one I know for sure is unlimited. And it is in... John 3:16.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
8.20 am. Listening to this song. Beautiful lyrics. Am grateful.
Betapa Ku Mencintai
Segala yang T'lah Terjadi
Tak Pernah Sendiri
Jalani Hidup Ini
Selalu Menyertai
Betapa Ku Menyadari
Di dalam Hidupku Ini
Kau S'lalu Memberi
Rancangan Terbaik
Oleh Karena Kasih
Bapa, Sentuh Hatiku
Ubah Hidupku Menjadi yang Baru
Bagai Emas yang Murni
Kau Membentuk Bejana Hatiku
Bapa, Ajarku Mengerti
Sebuah Kasih yang Selalu Memberi
Bagai Air Mengalir
yang Tiada Pernah Berhenti
Friday, July 10, 2009
What do you want?
Listening to Here Without You by Three Doors Down.
This song used to be my lullaby when I find it hard to fall asleep. Odd but it works every time.
Done with 3 papers and one more this coming Tuesday.
I started the day at 12.30pm. Because I woke up at that time. Washed up and brought my little red book into the toilet with me. Yes, doing my morning big business while memorizing points from 5 chapters I wrote down the night before. That was mentally torturing but at least I did it, the way like no one else does.
Lunch. Mineral water. Sweets. All these were prepared. Ate a little and had to rush to school. Walked up to the class with Jinn Yep.
Today my paper was Business Ethics & Social Responsibility. Half way through I had a stomach ache and went to shit. And I did it in exact 5 minutes. I know it's funny now but it wasn't funny then. I wrote 3 booklets of answers. 16 pages of answers altogether.
After exams, we gathered at the cafeteria while it was raining. We are good examples of the "Narrow View" by Milton Friedman ROFL because our conversations were focused on profit maximization. Joseph even jokingly willing to go against the law literally with Sprays. Before we left for our cars, Joseph asked if we will be going to Pasar Malam.
Drove home and stopped at the traffic light. Updated twitter and continued driving. Refuel my oil tank by Kesas Highway rest area. Despite the rain, I went to the bank after that. Outside the bank while parking my car, this guy with sunglasses came from no where appeared beside me and later walked infront of me. He walked in a way so confidently while trying to lock his BMW. On his left hand was Blackberry Bold and on his right hand was his BMW remote while slipping it into his pocket.
I still think that BMWs and Blackberries come together! I mean like how can you have a body with only the left hand but no right hand? I got my left hand and it's only complete when I find my right hand back!
Dear Blackberry I will marry you with BMW one day.
Anyway, reached home and it was already about 6.30pm. Went online, played one round of Dota and it's time for dinner. Had dinner with family. And then watched TV with parents for a good 1.5 hours.
Family first, friends next! After spending time with family, chilled at Pappa Rich and it's so crowded! Had this Cendol Soya or something. Then we decided to get home and watch DVDs. We watched an old movie called "Independence Day" and it rocks socks! Thought the snacks wasn't enough and drove out to grab some! Had a little bit of snacks and instant noodles. Spending time watching movie together like this made me realize that if love could be simple, friendship could be simple and nice too, as long as it's sincere :)
Simple and nice, sometimes could be complex and sophisticated too. How ironic.
So today TW came around, arm over my shoulder asking me if we are going "ANYWHERE" after exam. I said perhaps our "regular-meeting-place?"
Having said, it has been 17 weeks since the last time I clubbed. Now sitting at home watching DVDs feels different. When I say different that will mean not better nor worse, they are just different. Like a Blackberry Vs Iphone. They are just different. And many a times we want both, we are greedy like that.
Wrong hands. Wrong cheeks. On the floor. By the road. Been there. Done that.
Nobody really wants to grow up do we? Honestly. Probably in every man and woman there's still a little boy or a little girl whom we don't want to lose. Young, wild and dangerous, that is.
We want to be as reliable as a Blackberry. We also want to be as slick as an Iphone. Unless you are living in denial, you know it's true that we want both. Like the famous quote from Noah in "The Notebook".....
This song used to be my lullaby when I find it hard to fall asleep. Odd but it works every time.
Done with 3 papers and one more this coming Tuesday.
I started the day at 12.30pm. Because I woke up at that time. Washed up and brought my little red book into the toilet with me. Yes, doing my morning big business while memorizing points from 5 chapters I wrote down the night before. That was mentally torturing but at least I did it, the way like no one else does.
Lunch. Mineral water. Sweets. All these were prepared. Ate a little and had to rush to school. Walked up to the class with Jinn Yep.
Today my paper was Business Ethics & Social Responsibility. Half way through I had a stomach ache and went to shit. And I did it in exact 5 minutes. I know it's funny now but it wasn't funny then. I wrote 3 booklets of answers. 16 pages of answers altogether.
After exams, we gathered at the cafeteria while it was raining. We are good examples of the "Narrow View" by Milton Friedman ROFL because our conversations were focused on profit maximization. Joseph even jokingly willing to go against the law literally with Sprays. Before we left for our cars, Joseph asked if we will be going to Pasar Malam.
Drove home and stopped at the traffic light. Updated twitter and continued driving. Refuel my oil tank by Kesas Highway rest area. Despite the rain, I went to the bank after that. Outside the bank while parking my car, this guy with sunglasses came from no where appeared beside me and later walked infront of me. He walked in a way so confidently while trying to lock his BMW. On his left hand was Blackberry Bold and on his right hand was his BMW remote while slipping it into his pocket.
I still think that BMWs and Blackberries come together! I mean like how can you have a body with only the left hand but no right hand? I got my left hand and it's only complete when I find my right hand back!
Dear Blackberry I will marry you with BMW one day.
Anyway, reached home and it was already about 6.30pm. Went online, played one round of Dota and it's time for dinner. Had dinner with family. And then watched TV with parents for a good 1.5 hours.
Family first, friends next! After spending time with family, chilled at Pappa Rich and it's so crowded! Had this Cendol Soya or something. Then we decided to get home and watch DVDs. We watched an old movie called "Independence Day" and it rocks socks! Thought the snacks wasn't enough and drove out to grab some! Had a little bit of snacks and instant noodles. Spending time watching movie together like this made me realize that if love could be simple, friendship could be simple and nice too, as long as it's sincere :)
Simple and nice, sometimes could be complex and sophisticated too. How ironic.
So today TW came around, arm over my shoulder asking me if we are going "ANYWHERE" after exam. I said perhaps our "regular-meeting-place?"
Having said, it has been 17 weeks since the last time I clubbed. Now sitting at home watching DVDs feels different. When I say different that will mean not better nor worse, they are just different. Like a Blackberry Vs Iphone. They are just different. And many a times we want both, we are greedy like that.
Wrong hands. Wrong cheeks. On the floor. By the road. Been there. Done that.
Nobody really wants to grow up do we? Honestly. Probably in every man and woman there's still a little boy or a little girl whom we don't want to lose. Young, wild and dangerous, that is.
We want to be as reliable as a Blackberry. We also want to be as slick as an Iphone. Unless you are living in denial, you know it's true that we want both. Like the famous quote from Noah in "The Notebook".....
"That's your problem, you know that? You don't do what you want."
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Prepare to die, to live...
When all becomes history and the new has come for me, these words I hope someone would read on my behalf.
I did not die.
Remembering that you'll be dead soon is the most important tool you will ever encountered to help you make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. (Steve Jobs, 2005)
I did not die.Monday, July 06, 2009
Exam Fever
If you ask me if I am fully-prepared...
I can tell you no one will and could.
If you ask me if I am ready...
I can tell you I am quite.
If you ask me if I will score "As"...
I would tell you there's no certainty, only opportunity.
If you ask me if I am nervous...
I am telling you honestly I am not.
If you ask me if I am looking forward to it...
It just had to come.
If you ask me if I want it to end quickly...
Yes of course.
If you ask me if I like exams...
No. Because my grades should not be determined by a piece of paper or a few for that matter.
If you ask me if I prefer exams or assignments...
Assignments with super far away due-dates.
If you ask me if exams are going to end for me...
Yes. One more shot next semester and done with school...so EXAMS NO MORE
If you ask me to define exam...
A rite of passage, just got to get through with it.
If you ask me to suggest one good thing about exams...
Get to buy new pens.
Tomorrow I am bringing my Pilot G-3 1.0 Broad Signature Pen to write. It's 1.0. Twice as fat as the normal 0.5mm ones. Supposed to be used for signatures. Big, fat and juicy and BOLD hence easy writing and cursive ROFL
I can tell you no one will and could.
If you ask me if I am ready...
I can tell you I am quite.
If you ask me if I will score "As"...
I would tell you there's no certainty, only opportunity.
If you ask me if I am nervous...
I am telling you honestly I am not.
If you ask me if I am looking forward to it...
It just had to come.
If you ask me if I want it to end quickly...
Yes of course.
If you ask me if I like exams...
No. Because my grades should not be determined by a piece of paper or a few for that matter.
If you ask me if I prefer exams or assignments...
Assignments with super far away due-dates.
If you ask me if exams are going to end for me...
Yes. One more shot next semester and done with school...so EXAMS NO MORE
If you ask me to define exam...
A rite of passage, just got to get through with it.
If you ask me to suggest one good thing about exams...
Get to buy new pens.
Tomorrow I am bringing my Pilot G-3 1.0 Broad Signature Pen to write. It's 1.0. Twice as fat as the normal 0.5mm ones. Supposed to be used for signatures. Big, fat and juicy and BOLD hence easy writing and cursive ROFL
Sunday, July 05, 2009
4.31 AM
Another night goes by without sleeping cos I know I won't wake up next to you.
Another life goes by without dreaming and I can't help but think that mine will too.
I'm standing before you with this label on my head.
I'm pleading before you for you to understand.
Baby it's you when I look up in the sky I see you.
Then I turn and close my eyes it's you.
When I'm sitting all alone in my room everything reminds me of you.
A photo can say a thousand things but it can't say the million things I wanna say.
A photo can capture the way we were but it can't capture the way we are.
Cause you're far away.
What it's like to know you.
What it's like to touch you.
When you told me that you loved me, were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts.
Cause I'm looking at your picture and it's all I've got.
Maybe one day you and I will have one more shot.
Another life goes by without dreaming and I can't help but think that mine will too.
I'm standing before you with this label on my head.
I'm pleading before you for you to understand.
Baby it's you when I look up in the sky I see you.
Then I turn and close my eyes it's you.
When I'm sitting all alone in my room everything reminds me of you.
A photo can say a thousand things but it can't say the million things I wanna say.
A photo can capture the way we were but it can't capture the way we are.
Cause you're far away.
What it's like to know you.
What it's like to touch you.
When you told me that you loved me, were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts.
Cause I'm looking at your picture and it's all I've got.
Maybe one day you and I will have one more shot.
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